To get married or not to get married? That is the big question.
Last year, actress Lena Dunham and her rocker beau of three years, Jack Antonoff, revealed that they would not get married until the U.S. legalized same-sex marriage in all 50 states. The couple's declaration showed support for Dunham's sister, who is openly gay.
So, this means that the couple should be rushing down the aisle anytime soon... right? Wrong!
In a New Yorker op-ed titled "The Bride In Her Head," published on Friday, the "Girls" actress opened up regarding her reinvented thoughts about marriage following the Supreme Court's decision to legalize same-sex marriage nationwide.
"Walking through the New York City streets, so full of passion, possibility, and debate, I must admit that I wondered what might happen to me now in the marriage department," Dunham wrote. "What would happen to any of the many straight girls with this particular set of principles in play? We were exposed, vulnerable to marriage's strange power once more."
When the ruling was announced, Dunham sent out a tweet directed at Antonoff, which read, "@jackantonoff Get on it, yo..." He later replied, "Right on."
However, in her New Yorker piece, Dunham admitted that she regretted purposing to Antonoff after the ruling was announced on June 26, saying that the message was hastily sent. The article recalls the aftermath of her proposal.
"As soon as Jack woke up, I informed him that he 'better not make a fool out of me,' followed by a quick 'LOL,' and then, 'But seriously. I'm going to look like a real idiot if we just sit here like losers and keep dating,'" she wrote. "Then I tweeted, '@jackantonoff get on it, yo,' followed by my immediate and all-consuming regret."
"Jack didn't text back, which is entirely unlike him, and it wasn't until I got home and looked him in the eye that I realized just how little the concept of marriage had been on his mind," she continued. "Partly that's because we were busy, and the ruling caught him by surprise, and his politics were pure and not as self-interested as mine were starting to feel. But partly, I suppose, it's because, as a man, his entire life has not been shaped by a desire for, or a rejection of, a fluffy white dress."
Along with posting a sketch she made in 10th grade of her ideal wedding dress - lace gown, and combat boots - Dunham admitted that, as a woman, she was raised to think about marriage and the possibility of one day being married.
However, Antonoff wasn't thinking the same.
Dunham said she realized she had conflicting feelings about marriage, explaining that wanting to be married and wanting everyone to have the chance at marriage are completely different.
"The fact is that wanting everyone to have the right to marry and wanting to be married are two very different things," she wrote. "Wanting eternal love and wanting a sit-down dinner with all of your family and frenemies are different things, too. But it turns out that what I was waiting for was not the chance to marry but the chance to think about marriage on an even playing field, in a world where its relevance is a little harder to question and its essence a little harder to reject."
The two still have not made a final decision when it comes to marriage.
"I held Jack's hand and said, 'Let's not talk about marriage for a while, okay?' He looked grateful and relieved," Dunham wrote. "I felt unburdened but sad. The subject wasn't particularly loaded for him. It never would be."
Antonoff responded to his girlfriend's op-ed via twitter, calling it "Very beautiful."
