LAST WEEK: The girls ganged up on Sarah after everyone collectively got sick of her starting drama. Basically Mimi laughed her ass off while everyone got into a huge fight, and the episode ended with Jaz about to fight Sarah on Gigi's behalf.
Aaaaand we're back! Gigi is instigating a fistfight with Sarah, but neither wants to swing first, so Jaz steps in to take care of that, giving Sarah a big shove. The two go at it, but a producer steps in to help break them up. Mimi makes a sneaky move and yanks Sarah's hair just for the giggles. Next up in the ring, Tiana puts her fists up, but before they can get in a proper hit, the producer/bodyguard pulls them apart again.
The girls carry outside a flailing Jaz as Sarah tends to the plants that got knocked over during the scuffle, and again I'm reminded of season 7's Judi Jai and her adorable plant love.
So Sarah and Jaz are sent to a hotel room for the night to cool off, because Lord knows the producers need their sleep.
The next morning, Teresa calls her ex and proceeds to question him about all of the girls he is or isn't seeing, bright and early. Well that's a way to start off the day! Why is it that so many of these girls feel so entitled to their ex-boyfriends? On-and-off or not, if you're not together, why bother with it? Especially when you're in Miami!
In her talking headshot, Teresa explains that her situation with A.R. is complicated because he cheated on her, and then they broke up. Oh. Doesn't sound complicated to me, girl. Kick him to the curb!
In the make-up room, Teresa comes to that conclusion essentially, announcing to her roommates that she'll be the first to bring a guy home.
Sarah's back! She adorably returns with her teddy bear in her arms, still wearing the skintight dress from last night. Mimi asks her if she's going home, which is kind of catty, and Mimi knows it too, because she's got that evil smile on her face. When questioned about it, Mimi admits she pulled her hair because she thinks Sarah's fake and doesn't fit in with the rest of the house.
"We all have a bond, minus you," she says. Ouch!
Hilariously, Natalie Nunn (!!) from season 4 calls the house for her girl, Mimi, and Sarah answers. Oh Natalie, how I've missed your crazy ass. Sarah, who is also friends with Natalie, explains the situation to Natalie, who then demands that Mimi call her. I love that Natalie still finds a way to get inside the house even after all of these years.
So Jaz comes home, and the first person she sees is Sarah, which causes her some momentary disgust. I'm not entirely sure what her beef with Sarah is, but Jaz wants her out of the club, that's for sure.
So Mimi gets on the phone with Natalie, who starts to scold her like she's her mother. Natalie warns Mimi that if she acts like that on television, girls will try to jump her after the show. She lectures her as Mimi rolls her eyes and makes faces like a petulant child. It's SO funny, and I want Natalie as a roommate/adviser for EVERY SEASON.
After a shower, Sarah makes a terrible discovery: her hair is falling out! She asks Gigi if she pulled her hair, and Gigi confirms that she did. Stephanie says she feels sorry for Sarah, because Sarah is crying at this point, though no one really is all that concerned.
Sarah then brings her whinefest upstairs to Mimi, who if you'll recall, was just advised by Natalie to just fight the girl. Dressed in a pink bathrobe and pink booties (!), Mimi rolls her eyes at Sarah's whining about her hair and basically gets down to it: let's fight. Well, OK!
Sarah calls Mimi crazy in her talking head, accusing her of just wanting to fight and instigate. So she puts her hair up and starts swinging on Mimi, and it's getting pretty brutal before you know it. This isn't the usual hair-pulling fest.
Gifs courtesy of BGC-Land and related Tumblrs.
A very, very pissed BGC producer storms upstairs and yanks them apart. "Stand over there!" she yells at them. Well that got their attention faster than those male bodyguards! UH-OH, someone's in trouble...
The other roommates head upstairs, all confused, of course. When the producer pulled the girls apart, Mimi stuck her fingers in Sarah's face and grabbed her eyeballs. Oooh. The roommates seem unfazed, because to them, violence is like a typical Saturday, I guess, though Tiana admits she feels bad for Sarah.
Sarah's face is covered in scary red scratches and all Mimi can do is giggle maniacally. Natalie Nunn would not approve.
Being the terrible person she is, Gigi finds it appealing that Sarah is bleeding from her eye. "You should have kept your mouth shut!" she yells. God, what a bully. I can't stand her.
Sarah has to go to the doctor for the scratches, and it's kind of sad how low these girls will sink without remorse.
That night, Teresa calls her ex again (ugh), who tells her that he loves her. Teresa brings up the cheating and his wishy-washy attitude, but the call ends with mutual "I love yous." Judging by the preview for this week, however, it won't end well for them.
Sarah comes home and reveals she had to get eye drops and a tetanus shot because the doctor was told she was scratched by a cat. Poor girl.
The next morning, the producers sit the girls in the living room and announce there will be a meeting about last night's violence, which they believe went too far. I'm inclined to agree, despite the roommates' sociopathic attitudes about it. They tell Mimi her violence was excessive, especially considering where eyeballs are concerned, and you know immediately that she's going home.
Mimi isn't upset, or so she claims, and as she's packing her things passively aggressively asks the camera crew why they're still filming her. Stephanie feels for Sarah, but Tiana thinks it was all blown out of proportion on Sarah's end. They say this, of course, right in front of Sarah.
Not to worry though, Sarah is SO happy that's Mimi's going home. Mimi hugs her five new friends goodbye, who are all sad to see her go.
Back in the kitchen, the girls agree not to speak to Sarah, who they are obviously are blaming for Mimi's early departure.
The five girls, sans Sarah, go out to lunch together and start b****ing about the possibility of the new girl, and I am SO excited, I love new girl time!
BUT WAIT! A BGC producer approaches Sarah and says that they've reviewed the tapes and deemed Sarah a liability, so she'll be going home as well! PLOT TWIST!
TWO NEW GIRLS? Can they handle it? Without Sarah, who will the girls have to pick at and blame all of their issues on? Ooh, how the tables will surely turn...
The girls return home just in time to see Sarah with her bags packed, and immediately I brace myself for the worst. Will they throw food on her and try to hurt her?
Well, no, they decide to celebrate as soon as she's gone (Sarah rolls her eyes at this), because they're under the illusion that all of their problems are now solved.
So Brisco, the rapper guy from last week's episode, calls the house to say he and his friends are coming over to party with the Bad Girls. They bring over a bunch of food and liquor, and they all take it outside to the pool. Gigi says that now that Sarah's bad energy is gone, everything is fun. Heh, that won't last, silly girl.
Teresa, who talking-heads that she needs some male attention, decides to perform some of her stripper tricks on the pole for the guys.
So through a conversation between two of the girls, I discover they've already been in the house for nearly a month, which gives us a nice sense of time. Stephanie and Jaz make their predictions that one of them will be a total diva, and they both feel like it will change the dynamic. Yes, it always does.
Gigi makes the discovery of the new girls' pictures, and screams for them to come downstairs. They automatically, and nervously, make judgment calls.
And now it's time to meet Janelle, a 22-year old self-proclaimed "drama w****" from Houston, and she is a total narcissist, but kind of adorable. She takes a limo to an outdoor spot to meet Shanae, 21 and from Atlanta, who admits to having underlying anger issues. The two bond instantly and agree that they'll take on the house together.
Hilariously (and rudely), Janelle talking-heads that Shanae looks like a girl that "used to be fat," which Shanae already admitted to in her casting tape. Shanae loves Janelle's energy, and so far I really like them both, especially because they call it "the year of the replacements."
(The girls will hate them, or at least one of them. My bet's on Janelle, whom they've already deemed a "troublemaker" by her photo).
So far, however, introductions are positive and hug-filled, such a nice relief from the hazing and bullying of past seasons. The girls seem to really like Shanae but not Janelle, based on first impressions.
I think Shanae will do well here, as she immediately starts complimenting their bodies and faces in her talking head. Janelle, on the other hand, prays the girls aren't usually this boring. Uh-oh.
Janelle's talkativeness immediately starts to tick everyone off, and she gets the sense that the girls think she's the s***, which is accurate, of course.
Upstairs in the make-up room, something magical happens. As Janelle is fixing her 30-inch weave, she flips it around and accidentally hits Jaz in the arm with it. The producers hilariously edit in a whipping noise and add Old Western sepia to the instant replay.
Jaz is super irritated, and makes it known she doesn't like getting "hair-flipped." She asks nicely for Janelle to be careful, but Janelle is more or less all, "It happens."
Outside at the pool, Jaz gets hilarious and says to Janelle, "You're going to have to relax with the hair whip, OK, you're not Willow Smith, this is not the motherf***ing video..." and it's one of the best moments of the season so far.
Clearly, this is an issue over territory and respect, as Janelle is getting just a tad too comfortable too fast. Janelle says it's not a big deal, and if someone else's hair touched her, she would not make a big scene. The other girls jump in to defend their friend Jaz, while Shanae makes the wise decision to just sit and watch it all unfold.
Because Janelle knows it's not really about the hair, but about her. The other girls sense something they don't like about her, and they're creating non-issues to get it off of their chests. Janelle is pretty self-aware, and I like it.
The next morning, Tiana tries to get to know Janelle and asks her if she's an only child, and Janelle confirms that she's the baby of the family. Jaz joins in, and soon everyone's back in good spirits, thankfully. They're shocked to learn that Janelle is a preacher's granddaughter, and I like that they're putting aside the tension from last night.
For now.
So today, Teresa's ex calls her and asks if they're together or not. Teresa asks him if it means he wants to go f*** something, and he stupidly goes, "Can I?", like a little boy asking for a cookie. It's pathetic and gross.
Being the jerk that he is, A.R. says he's at the bar scoping out "chicks," and why he's calling her to tell her this is beyond me. Teresa is so ready to get away from the phone and have fun tonight.
And go out they do, as at the club, Teresa drinks away all of her sorrows, letting some guy feel her up and kiss on her. Janelle observes that she's losing control of herself and doesn't know what she's doing, but doesn't say it in a mean way.
Things heat up between Teresa and the mystery dude, and the girls can't help but notice at this point. They're on a couch together, making out, feeling each other up and it's not looking good.
So the girls get in the limo to go home, mostly to get Teresa away from the strange, handsy guy, but Teresa is raving drunk, stumbling over everyone and everything while screaming that she wants to go home, causing Tiana to bleed when she nicks her with her shoe. They're all trying to calm her down, but Teresa is swinging on the limo, clearly upset over A.R. Teresa even elbows poor Jaz in the eye.
And that's when the bomb drops.
Stephanie laughs.
It doesn't end well. Things go crazy, and aggressive drunk Teresa swings at her and pretty much everything in sight before the episode ends.
NEXT WEEK: Gigi and Tiana may be taking things to another level and Shanae and Janelle get into it. Finally this season has started getting good! I'll be back next week to watch it all so you don't have to, and of course, I'll tell you all about it.
Click here to watch a preview of next week's episode on Oxygen!
