Former NFLer Jonathan Martin: Multiple Suicide Attempts Spurred By Bullying, Life In NFL

In retirement, former NFL lineman Jonathan Martin still seems to be seeking some kind of peace in his life. Martin, once the subject of a bullying investigation along with and allegedly at the hands of current Buffalo Bills guard Richie Incognito when the two were members of the Miami Dolphins organization, released a statement on twitter on Wednesday presumably to clarify much of what has gone on in his life since being drafted into the NFL in the second-round of the 2012 NFL Draft, including multiple suicide attempts. You can read it in its entirety below.

Martin, only two short weeks removed from his 26th birthday, retired from the league in late July, citing a back injury that would have forced him to miss the majority of the 2015 NFL season. Despite starring collegiately at Stanford, starting all 16 games for the Dolphins as a rookie and seven more in 2013, Martin's career came fully off the rails and we may now know why.

Martin goes all the way back to the beginning, chronicling his life from the age of 10 when he and his family moved to Los Angeles so that he could attend private school. As one of the only minorities in the class, Martin says he became "shy, introverted, friendly," so as not to "scare the little rich white kids or their parents." He says he lost much of his self-worth as he was neither accepted by whites or blacks, who considered him to be not "black enough."

Admitting to his own personal nature, his own sensitivity, Martin says that his "shitty locker room situation" - presumably in Miami - was too much to shrug off, even as a 20-something making millions of dollars and living out a dream. Martin, of course, was deemed to have been subjected to "a pattern of harassment," harassment which included racial slurs and sexual taunts involving his mother and sister, by Dolphins teammates, specifically Incognito, according to a report compiled by NFL investigator Ted Wells.

This is where Martin's story takes a difficult turn. He says that his job lead him to attempt to kill himself on "multiple occasions," realizing that his "self-perceived social inadequacy" was dominating his life. He says that, at the time, he was drinking "too much," smoking weed "constantly" and struggled to stay focused on his work as an NFL player.

In Oct. 2013 Martin left the Dolphins citing "emotional" issues. Martin vowed to leave the team and after Wells' report was released in Nov., Martin never played another down for the Dolphins. He was traded to the San Francisco 49ers, starting nine games, but was subsequently released in March 2015. He was claimed off waivers by the Carolina Panthers, but retired just a few months later.

Now retired, Martin considers himself to have broken free of the "addiction that football had been," saying that "People don't matter. Money doesn't matter. Fame and notoriety sure as hell don't matter. Nothing matters besides your family, a few close friends, and your own personal happiness."