Everyone has dealt with the pain of rejection. Like falling in love, getting dumped is an experience most people will be able to relate to. However, each person goes through the pain of a breakup differently.
Phil McGraw, known on TV as "Dr. Phil," offers a piece of advice for getting over the heartache: "Don't personalize the rejection," he told an "Oprah" audience, according to Huffington Post.
"Oftentimes, the flaw is in the other person," McGraw said. "You hear about people with an inability to commit, or they've just got immaturity, or they've got other fish to fry in their life and it's just not the right time... Haven't you been with people that were just wonderful, but they just weren't right with you?"
"You're dragging all that baggage with you. You gotta get past that," the psychologist pressed on.
His advice may very well complement a few Zen teachings about handling pain, including the following:
- Release yourself from attachments to gain more peace. Attachments keep your mindset on how "everything must be what it was before again," according to Love's A Game. It can only keep you stuck and if you cannot get back with your ex, you run the risk of doing things you may regret later.
- Live in the now and achieve mindfulness. For this to be realized, you must have an awareness of yourself, your thoughts, your attitude and your environment. This can begin if you acknowledge the pain and loss. "If you try to ignore it, the same amount of pain will last a lot longer," according to Zen Psychiatry.
- Realize that nothing is permanent and experiences will continue to change to help us evolve. You won't be suffering through the pain of a break up your whole life, so don't be bogged down by this. In Buddhism, this mindset is referred to as Anicca or the truth about impermanence, according to Good Therapy.
