According to a new study, using lies in a relationship to refrain from hurting the other person's feeling is common these days.
According Sean Horan, an assistant professor at DePaul University in the College of Communication, cuddling, kissing and holding hands in a romantic relationship are no longer merely acts of love and affections. In fact, the professor finds that these days these actions are a way of covering up one's true feelings.
"Gestures such as hand holding, kissing and cuddling could be indicators that your partner is mad at you," explained Horan.
Horan conducted a study titled "Understanding the Routine Expression of Deceptive Affection in Romantic Relationships," and found that non-married couples use these deceptive affections at least three times a week. The term 'deceptive affections" refers to portraying or enacting an action of affection that someone doesn't really feel.
"Couples use deceptive affection because they feel negatively about their partner and want to save face, avoid embarrassing their partner or sidestep a situation that may land them in hot water," said Horan.
During the study, one participant said that on one particular day she didn't feel like cuddling up to her boyfriend but did so anyway in case he felt she didn't love him anymore. Another participant revealed that he told his girlfriend he loves her on the phone so that she could hang up faster to watch a football game on TV. A participant also revealed that she lied to her boyfriend about liking his new hairstyle in order to refrain from hurting his feelings.
The study found that couples tend to use both verbal and non-verbal means of 'deceptive affections" to mask their true feelings.
"Using affection to lie appears to be a regular activity in romantic relationships that most people don't seem to mind," he said. "In fact, deceptive affection might actually help maintain a relationship."
