"The Real Housewives of New Jersey" star Melissa Gorga has just come out with a new book featuring advice for women on how to have a "sexy and hot" as well as "warm and loving" marriage, though she's received plenty of backlash for allegedly advocating marital rape and various sexist adages. Now the reality star is speaking out against the accusations while standing by her views, US Weekly reports.
One of the passages in question from "Love, Italian Style: The Secrets of My Hot and Happy Marriage" urges women to let their men "dominate" them, even if they don't want to have sex.
"Men, I know you think your woman isn't the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while. If your wife says 'no,' turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated," Gorga writes in her new book.
Among other off-putting quotes, this particular excerpt upset Jezebel writer Tracie Egan Morrissey, who slammed the book for "sexism, gender essentialism, and caveman logic within its pages is so appalling that it's difficult to believe that her book is anything but a cry for help." Her long and detailed criticism of the advice book seemed to have an effect on the 34-year-old "Housewives" star, however.
"I was upset that a website accused me and Joe of horrible, disgusting things," Melissa wrote today on her BravoTV.com blog. "But now I see it as an opportunity to further explain my philosophy about marriage. Husbands want their wives to submit; wives want our husbands to dominate."
The star even brought up the controversial series "Fifty Shades of Grey" in defense of her own material.
"Fans of Fifty Shades of Grey can attest that there's a difference between racy and 'rapey.' When Joe and I talk about dominance and submission, it's racy. It's about a man being a man, a woman being a woman, a man taking charge and a woman letting it happen -- consensually! There are times I play hard to get, and Joe knows those signals. But when I am not in the mood, Joe doesn't force me to do ANYTHING."
Fans of Gorga and the show have responded with mixed opinions. Some have pointed out that Gorga seems to "run the show" at home with her husband, while others have expressed concern that there are things going on behind-the-scenes that Gorga may not be aware are unhealthy in a relationship.
Other passages from "The Secrets" that reviewers have criticized include Gorga letting her husband yell at her now and then to let out stress, treating her sons much differently from her daughter based on strict gender roles, making sure she is always attractive and available for sex, and writing that not being sexually available lets husbands to cheat on their wives.
"I cook and clean; I'm on TV, am a recording artist, and now a published author," Gorga wrote her blog. "I treat my husband like a king; he treats me like a queen; I wrote a book about it. I'm an unapologetic traditional wifey, and that makes me happy," she says. "So does singing, writing, and meeting fans. I do find it ironic that some viewers of the show say that Joe is my puppet, and then criticize my book and say that he's a control freak rapist."
