New research shows children with low self esteem indulge in more shame when they fail after being praised for their personal qualities over their efforts, reports Medical Xpress.
Researchers conducted experiments which analyzed children's reactions on failure after being praised for their personal qualities instead of their efforts and also noted parents' method of praising children with either high self esteem or low self esteem. The analysis showed that parents tend to praise children's personal qualities over their efforts, especially among those kids who have low self esteem.
"This type of personal praise may backfire. What may seem like common sense can sometimes lead adults astray in their attempts to help children with low self-esteem feel better about themselves," said lead researcher, Eddie Brummelman, MS, of Utrecht University in the Netherlands, according to Medical Xpress.
Researchers conducted an experiment to examine parents' method of praising hypothetical children with either high or low self esteem. The study included 357 parents aged between 29 and 66 years based in Netherlands.
Parents were asked to note down the praise they would give children depending on the description of either high or low self esteem. It was noted during the assessment that parents praised children with low self esteem twice as much, but for their personal qualities. For example: Based on a painting activity, parents referred children with low self esteem as a 'great artist.' But parents' praise was directed towards children's efforts among kids with high self esteem. Example: Based on the same activity, parents appreciated children's work to be 'great' rather than commenting on their personal qualities, explains the report.
"Adults may feel that praising children for their inherent qualities helps combat low self-esteem, but it might convey to children that they are valued as a person only when they succeed," Brummelman said. "When children subsequently fail, they may infer they are unworthy."
Another experiment was conducted to study children's reactions based on the praise they received. 313 children with majority of girls aged between 8 and 13 years old from five different elementary schools in Netherlands were told they would be playing an online game competing against a student from a different school. The game was controlled by the computer, which helped researchers in understanding the reactions of children with different descriptions.
Children were divided into winners and losers and they received praise upon winning. Children with low self esteem were praised for their personal qualities and those with high self esteem were praised for their efforts. A control group was formed who received no praise. After winning and losing the game in two rounds, children were asked to note their feelings of shame.
In comparison with all the groups, children with low self esteem showed a greater sense of shame on losing.
"In general, it is better to praise the behavior rather than the individual," Bushman said. "If you praise the individual and he fails, it can cause shame and may inadvertently send the message, 'I am a bad person.'"
The findings of the study are published online in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General.
