Ronda Rousey has broken her silence following her shocking defeat at the hands of Holly Holm at UFC 193. Holm, a former professional boxer, but also an almost entirely unheralded opponent viewed by most as likely just another victim for Rousey's powerful, relentless attack, took control of Rousey and the fight almost from the first bell.
"I got hit in that first round. ... I cut my lip open and knocked a couple of my teeth loose. I was out on my feet from the very beginning," Rousey told ESPN.
"I wasn't thinking clearly. I had that huge cut in my mouth and I just spit [the blood] out at my feet. Then they brought the bucket over and I'm like, 'Why didn't I spit it in the bucket?' I never spit on the ground.
"It was like a dumbed-down dreamy version of yourself making decisions. ... I was just trying to shake myself out of it. I kept saying to myself, 'You're OK, keep fighting. You're OK, keep fighting.'"
And keep fighting Rousey did - and has done, since the fight that rocked the MMA world - but it wasn't enough. Holm finished Rousey with a brutal kick that sent her to the mat and shattered her hopes of finishing her career with an undefeated record.
It remains to be seen if it will be enough for Rousey to pull herself back together in the aftermath of that unexpected beating.
"I kind of just slept a lot and ate fast food," Rousey says of the days spent in a remote area of Texas, immediately after the fight. "First I was so sick I couldn't eat anything. Then I just slept and pooped in the woods. I used a whole roll of toilet paper in one day.
"Physically, my body was refusing its own failures. It was, like, sick of itself. Expelling itself. Like all the skin came off my face. My whole body flushed it out."
Rousey, an icon even in defeat, has developed a nice revenue stream outside of the cage. She's appeared in "Furious 7" and "Entourage" this year and is set for a role in "Roadhouse" in the near future. She could likely walk away from the ring and live a very happy, comfortable life at this point.
But it sounds like the loss to Holm, at the same time as it shook her to her core, has only strengthened her resolve. And with UFC president Dana White already confirming a rematch with Holm, Rousey's road to redemption will be closely watched.
"I always think I can lose all of them. I'm the only one that's scared when I walk in there. I'm always f-----g scared," Rousey said, before adding that the fear won't stop her from fighting again.
"Of course. What else am I going to f-----g do?"
