Jews don't celebrate Christmas. In other news, humans need water to survive and 2+2=4. But just because members of the tribe don't light up a Christmas tree (burning bush?) or leave kosher treats for Santa, doesn't mean they can't get into the holiday spirit. In fact, menorah lighters have long been interested in Christmas from an artistic standpoint, which is why several Jewish singers have recorded Christmas albums in the past. But which of these Old Testament thumpers brought it the most on their respective endeavors?
Without further ado, the top five Christmas albums made by Jews.
5. Neil Diamond - "A Cherry Cherry Christmas"
Diamond's third seasonal offering (released in 2009), "Cherry Cherry Christmas," is a great mix of X-Mas classics ("Jingle Bell Rock," "White Christmas," etc.) and new songs ("The Christmas Song"). Yet despite delving deep into the winter wonderland, Diamond couldn't stray too far from his original roots, concluding the album with "The Chanukah Song." That should score him some extra points with Moses.
"A Cherry Cherry Christmas is absolutely wonderful," said one random commenter on the Internet. And since the Internet is largely anonymous, you know you can trust this person's review.
Is Diamond the Jewish Elvis Presley? We're not saying he is, but we're not not saying he isn't...I think?
4. Barry Manilow - "Because It's Christmas"
(Game Show Announcer Voice): If you can tell me which iconic pop star adopted his mother's maiden name at the time of his Bar Mitzvah, you'll be given the lifelong title of honorary Jew!
Barry Manilow (born Barry Alan Pincus) has released three Christmas albums to date, but none top his first offering. "Because It's Christmas," released in 1990, became Manilow's first platinum album since 1984's "2:00 AM Paradise Café." It was the best-selling Christmas album of 1990 in the U.S. and reached No. 40 on the Billboard 200 sales chart. Not bad for a guy who probably spent Christmas eating Chinese food and going to the movies.
3. Barbara Steisand - "A Christmas Album"
Arguably the most famous Jewish singer, Streisand hit fans with this little doozy back in 1967. Allmusic gave the album four and a half stars and called it a "timeless classic," which is supported by the record's mammoth sales (did you know that "Quintuple Platinum" was even a thing?). The non-Jewish market absolutely ate this album up thanks to Streisand's impressive pipes and it is considered one of the best Christmas albums of all-time.
Jews: preparing excellent brisket and recording top-notch Christmas albums since the 60s.
2. Kenny G - "Miracles: The Holiday Album"
The name Kenny G gives off an air of mystery and importance. But the name Kenny Bruce Gorelick sounds like the kid who used to eat his boogers in Hebrew school. We approve of the stage name.
Kenny G's 1994 Christmas offering, "Miracles: The Holiday Album," was instantly recognized as something special. The saxophonist's first holiday album peaked at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 in 1994 and has been praised for its unique takes on traditional Christmas songs.
Honestly, we wonder where he got all the inspiration considering he grew up in the center of Seattle's Jewish community. Perhaps Elijah gave him the idea.
1. Bob Dylan - "Christmas in the Heart"
We don't need to explain this one. It's Bob Freaking Dylan. He should be at the top of every rankings list even if it has nothing to do with music. Best action movie of all-time? Bob Dylan. Best way to season turkey? Bob Dylan.
Anyway, happy holidays to all!
