Mom friends aren't easy to find. It's like being the new kid in school- everyone already has their friends, and it takes you a bit to make new ones. You remember working your way to the quality friends that are the ones you can be yourself with and share those secrets best friends always share. It is especially difficult finding mom friends if you already have your group of established friends but are the first one to have a baby. You aren't moving those friends out of your life, but instead adding to it with someone going through the same things you are- motherhood.
You have to be proactive, so let's get your friend-making hat on and figure out the steps needed to find them.
1. Look for signs. Is a mom looking for friends, too? Keep your eyes and ears peeled for the obvious signs, as she may also be in the same boat as you- having single friends and looking for mom friends. If you are at an event, social occasion or park and you like someone, be bold. What have you got to lose? Don't worry about rejection and ask for her phone number and email to establish email contact, according to Mom.me. Don't forget to follow up promptly.
2. Don't be impatient. If you swapped contact information with a new mom friend, don't freak out if she doesn't contact you right away. Remember, moms have busy schedules, so give her some time and reconnect again. If you don't hear back from her, then just move on. You can't take rejection personally. She may just not have felt the connection, so it is time to move on to find another potential mom friend.
3. Be proactive and plan that first playdate. If you are at a mommy and me class or your child's preschool and you click with a mom, ask her for a playdate and follow up with it. Establishing contact, making the plans and enjoying each other's company starts with the first step, and you should make that move.
4. Use nap time as a playdate. Find out with your new mom friend if your kids share nap times or are close in time frame and get together then, according to Parents. While the kids nap, it is the perfect time to grab a cup of coffee and destress so you can get to know your new friend.
5. Confirm connection to ensure success. Similarities aren't the only thing that makes people click. Just because you are similar in age, live on the same street and have kids the same age, that doesn't mean you have anything else in common, or enough to make a real friendship. It's trial and error time, so don't expect to click on the first mom friend you find, any more than you chose to settle down with the first man you dated. There are a few practice runs before you find the right one.
Motherhood is much more fun when you have that mommy support system and someone to talk to about things you are experiencing. It's worth pursuing a few friends until you find the one(s) that feel right.
