Shama Sikander has opened up about her battle with manic depression one year after fellow actress Deepika Padukone revealed that she was struggling with a similar condition.
The actress, who recently grabbed headlines with her bold portrayal of a nymphomaniac in the short film "Sexaholic," revealed that she suffered from bipolar disorder and took a break from the spotlight to undergo treatment for the illness in the U.S.
"I had a bipolar stroke, which left me totally depressed," Sikander said. "It was a very tough situation where I literally met death and came back. I was unhappy about my professional and personal life and everything just spiraled downwards. I feel I have had a rebirth."
"I took this long gap for soul-searching. I did a lot of introspecting," she continued. "I feel many of us are scared to do that as we don't want to stir our demons. Today, I have accepted myself in a better manner and thank God for it. I have a better understanding of what I want to do and where I want to reach. The gap was a blessing as it helped me reconnect with my soul."
The 34-year-old actress, best known for playing the lead role in the hit television series "Yeh Meri Life Hai," said that she ignored her condition at first, but her then-boyfriend, actor Alexx O'Neil, said that she her extreme emotional changes and mood swings were a result of a mental condition and advised her to seek treatment.
"I was dating Alex at that time and he has a psychological degree," Sikander recalled. "He pointed it out to me and at first my reaction was, 'No, I am not going to a doctor. I am perfectly fine and there is nothing wrong with me'. However, he insisted that I have a condition and I should address it."
"For one year I did not even know what was happening to me so, I had no idea and I just used to feel very dark, gloomy and sad," the actress added. "I did not know what was the reason behind this, but I felt directionless. I felt hopeless and I hope that never happens to anybody because hope is what we survive on and if we don't have hope we have nothing.
"The feeling was so dark that I would wake up at night and start crying without knowing why I am crying. Only someone who has gone through it can understand and how I feel it is."
After breaking up with O'Neil in 2015, Sikander found love and support from her then-friend James Milliron, who she is now engaged to and decided to seek treatment for her condition in the U.S.
Padukone took to social media last year to open up about her struggles with depression and made efforts to create awareness about mental health problems.
Sikander wants to follow Padukone's footsteps and educate others with her confession. "I am sharing this to tell everyone that people suffering from mental condition are not crazy or possessed," she said. "There are chemical issues in the functioning of their brain. And in today's stressful times, depression is commonplace. Throughout our lives, we are taught to be good whatever the situation. I feel it's not right. Parents should teach their kids to be honest, be true and be accepting of themselves."
"It's about how you deal with your angels and your demons. In fact, your demons need more love than your angels. I thank my family and friends for standing by me. I am extremely grateful to my doctor in the US and meditation, which helped me reclaim my life," she added.
