According to new study parents pushing children hard to get good grades can negatively affect them and make them become anxious and depressed.
"When parents become intrusive in their children's lives, it may signal to the children that what they do is never good enough," said study leader Ryan Hong, an assistant professor in the department of psychology at the National University of Singapore.
For the research seven-year old children from 10 schools in Singapore as well as one of their parents were involved. The study was intended to evaluate two aspects of maladaptive perfectionism in children: self-criticalness, when children become overly worried about their mistakes and imperfections; and socially prescribed perfectionism, when other people have unrealistic high expectations.
To evaluate parental intrusiveness, researchers had children play a game while accompanied by their parents. In the game, the child had to work on puzzles within a set time, and the parent was told that he or she could assist the child whenever necessary.
“Our findings indicate that in a society that emphasizes academic excellence, which is the situation in Singapore, parents may set unrealistically high expectations on their children. As a result, a sizable segment of children may become fearful of making mistakes,” said Prof. Hong. “Also, because they are supposed to be ‘perfect,’ they can become disinclined to admit failures and inadequacies and seek help when needed, further exacerbating their risk for emotional problems.”
“One small practical tip might be the way we ask our children about their academic performance. For instance, instead of asking, "Did you get full marks on your test?.” Parents can try asking. “How did you do on your test?”, said Hong.
The study were published online in the Journal of Personality.
