Children who share strong bonds with their parents are more likely to make better friends and enjoy sturdier relationships as adults, a new study finds.
Childhood experiences are crucial because they determine personality traits later as adults. In a new study, researchers from the University of Illinois found that children who share strong bonds with their parents make better friends and are able to adapt to different relationship situations.
"Securely attached children are more responsive to suggestions or requests made by a new peer partner. A child who has experienced a secure attachment relationship with caregivers is likely to come into a new peer relationship with positive expectations," said Nancy McElwain, a U of I professor of human development, in a press statement.
For the study, researchers examined the bond 114 33-month-old children shared with their mothers. At the start of the study, parents were asked to report their child's temperament like anger and social fear. Six months later, the children were paired with another child to see how they built bonds. All participants were called in for observation three times over a period of one month.
Researchers found that children who shared a strong bond with their mothers were more responsive to the pairing, even if the other child had an angry temperament. Such children also responded favorably to the new kid in their second and third visit, provided the new kid's anger level was low.
Explaining why this happens, researchers said that when children have a secure attachment with their parents, they have a more positive attitude toward their peers. However, when their peers don't respond favorably, they adapt to the new situation by dampening their responsiveness to the other child.
"A more securely attached child was also likely to use suggestions and requests rather than commands and intrusive behavior (such as grabbing toys away) during play with an anger-prone peer during the first two visits. By the final visit, a child with a secure attachment had adjusted to the controlling assertiveness of her anger-prone partner by becoming more controlling herself," McElwain said. "Behavior toward a peer partner depended on the partner's temperament as much as the child's own attachment. Consideration of both factors in combination is needed to understand a child's behavior toward a new peer."
The researchers also pointed out that a child's own temperament also plays an important role in determining how he will respond to a peer. Children who suffer from social fear are generally less assertive and don't make friends very quickly. However, this shouldn't be mistaken for a weaker bond between the child and his parents. The study authors pointed out that when such children receive sensitive handling, they open up and become friendly.
The study was published online in the journal Developmental Psychology. Funding was provided by the USDA National Institute of Food and Agriculture and the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Research Board.
