Many former North Korean spies turn into celebrities after serving prison sentences in the South.
But for Won Jeong-hwa, who last year finished a five-year sentence for using sex to steal military secrets, that is not the case.
In an interview with the Associated Press, the 40-year-old single mother relays how she cannot hold a regular job because her bosses fire her once they find out about her scandalous past.
One alternative would be for Won to cash in on her past like other spies do, snagging book deals and TV appearances to speak about life in the world of espionage. However, Won has been unable to do so because of rumors that she was hardly a spy.
"I've thought about killing myself many times," Won told the AP.
Won was sentenced to five years in 2008 after a court found her guilty of sleeping with military officers to obtain secrets for North Korea. Though the press nicknamed her "North Korea's Mata Hari," Won said prosecutors gave her alcohol and forced her to lie about using sex as a spy tool. In actuality, she used sex to steal information only once.
They "manufactured (the story of) my relations with men," she told the AP. "I'm not a Mata Hari."
But the damage is already done. Since Won was freed she has been fired from jobs as a waitress and cleaner. One boss fired her after a co-worker expressed concern that she would poison the food.
South Korea has shown a fascination with former spies from the North. One female spy who was pardoned from a death sentence for a plane bombing that killed 115 people wrote an autobiography and now appears as a commentator on TV, the AP reported.
However, the media doesn't think Won is interesting enough. She apparently refused to poison two army officers Pyongyang ordered her to kill. Court records also say North Korea sent her to the South to take pictures of military operations and collect newspapers, which is considered low-level spy work.
"I believe that she was exploited as an informant...she wasn't even worth being called a spy," Kim Yong-hwa, a former-spy who knew Won, told the AP.
So Won is left trapped in an endless predicament, barely able to support herself and her 12-year-old daughter with the $800 she receives from the government, the AP reported.
"I want to move to a country where no one knows me," Won said crying.
