Amber Valletta is opening up about her history with addiction to drugs and alcohol.
The 40-year-old former model-turned-actress spoke with an audience for MindBodyGreen.com for a piece called "How I Live with Addiction Every Day: Amber Valletta" and admitted she has been an addict since she was eight years old.
"I'm coming out to you today as an addict," Valletta told the audience. "I suffer from a disease called addiction. I've had it for as long as I can remember."
At the age of eight, Valletta said she felt "uncomfortable being a human being" and used anything to get a "buzz," including sniffing markers, glue and fingernails polish. At 22, she began abusing cocaine and alcohol.
"I was in a business that drugs and alcohol were widely acceptable and they were given to me," she said. "I had a multimillion [dollar] deal and I showed up the first day to shoot this campaign high and drunk. I didn't care and that's just to show you addiction takes you to the worst places. I showed up to my uncle's bedside, he was dying, and I was still high, still drunk and looking for a place to do another line."
The "Hitch" actress recalled starting with the abuse because she was "predisposed for it" - admitting that substance abuse ran in her family. But at 25, Valletta said she decided to seek help because she "didn't want to die."
However, Valletta said she does not see herself as a victim and does not blame anyone but herself for her struggle with drugs and alcohol. After staying sober for 15 years, Valletta said she hoped to inspire others by sharing her story.
"I had to be willing to lift the veil off the shame and say, 'I'm an addict, I can't do this alone, I don't want to do this alone, I don't feel comfortable; can you help me?'" she said, nearly coming to tears. "I needed help from other people, so that's the way I stay sober."
She added: "My hope is that someone somewhere out of this room will hear something that will help them and perhaps get them out of the shadow and darkness of addiction and bring them into the light. Or maybe you know someone who fights addiction and haven't gotten into recovery yet. Maybe it will give you a little more compassion for them; a little more understanding."
