I love sports and I love movies. I also really, really love fantasy football. So I decided to combine all three of my passions into one awesome column.
I am going to put together a top-notch fantasy football team made entirely of fictional athletes from sports movies. For the purposes of this team, there will only be one slot for quarterback, running back, wide receiver, tight end, kicker and defense. I'm also using a standard scoring system.
Got it? Good. Let's jump in.
QB: Willie Beamen (Jaime Foxx) - "Any Given Sunday"
Steaming Willie Beamen is the ultimate dual threat quarterback in the mold of Michael Vick or Robert Griffin III. Beamen can sling the long ball or take off and beat you with his legs. While there may be some interceptions and blown plays along the way, the week-to-week upside of Beamen is matched by no one. He can win your league for you when he's on top of his game.
Honorable Mentions: Shane Falco (Keanu Reeves) - "The Replacements," Jonathan Moxon (James Van Der Beek) - "Varsity Blues"
RB: Darnell Jefferson (Omar Epps) - "The Program"
Jefferson did have some fumbling problems in his freshman year at the fictional ESU. But he also showed the type of explosiveness as both a ball carrier and a return man that is hard to find. Nabbing a game-winning receiving touchdown in the team's last game of the season also showed his versatility and clutch play ability. Jefferson became a three-down back who got extra work on punt returns by the end of his freshman year. I can't think of any other running backs that touch the ball as much as Jefferson.
Honorable Mentions: Wendell Brown (Eliel Swinton) - "Varsity Blues," Earl Megget (Nelly) - "The Longest Yard"
WR: Rod Tidwell (Cuba Gooding Jr.) - "Jerry Maguire"
Tidwell is all heart, don't you remember? He'll go across the middle and sacrifice his body. He'll fight for those tough yards. He'll battle in the end zone for the ball. That's the type of guy I want on my squad, fantasy or otherwise. Tidwell is just a consistent force with minimal bust potential. A rich man's Hines Ward, perhaps.
Honorable Mentions: Charlie Tweeder (Scott Caan) - "Varsity Blues," Clifford Franklin (Orlando Jones) - "The Replacements"
TE: Cheeseburger Eddy (Terry Crews) - "The Longest Yard"
I mean, that video says it all, am I right?
Honorable Mentions: Brian Murphy (David Denman) - "The Replacements"
Kicker: Nigel Gruff (Rhys Ifans) - "The Replacements"
The guy's nickname was "The Leg." He had range from the parking lot. Remember, the longer the field goal, the more points you get. Gruff could knock it down from 50-plus yards consistently. He was "wiry" after all. The former soccer star is easily one of the best fantasy kickers in the game.
Defense: South Central Louisiana State University Mud Dogs - "The Waterboy"
Adam Sandler's Bobby Boucher set NCAA records for sacks in a single game and season. He had 19 sacks in one game! That's 19 fantasy points in standard scoring leagues all by himself. The Mud Dogs would be the top-scoring defense by a wide margin and give you a weekly advantage at the position.
