We Jews take pride in each other's success. We're happy for Warren Buffet and Steve Ballmer for conquering the business world. We come out in droves anytime Natalie Portman or Scarlett Johansson has a new movie in theaters. Hell, even Drake celebrated a Bar Mitzvah, and we couldn't be more excited to finally break into the rap game.
But what about sports? Where are all the Jews in pro-sports?
Here are the five best current Jewish athletes:
5. Gabe Carimi, OT, NFL
Carimi was a first round draft pick for the Chicago Bears in 2011. Although he's since moved on to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and now the Atlanta Falcons, his drafting marks probably the first time one of us Jews was picked in the first round of anything sports related. I'm trying unsuccessfully to suppress traumatic childhood memories from gym class right now.
Carimi was a standout offensive lineman at Wisconsin. During his final season, he was a unanimous All-American selection while also making the First-team All-Big Ten, being voted the Big Ten Offensive Lineman of the Year and winning the Outland Trophy given to the best interior linemen in all of college.
After the Bears drafted him, he was affectionately given the nickname "The Bear Jew" from the film "Inglourious Basterds." He signed with the Falcons earlier this season and has appeared in all eight games for them so far.
4. Jordan Farmar, PG, NBA
The Los Angeles Lakers selected Farmar with the 26th pick in the first round of the 2006 NBA draft. He posted the highest vertical leap (42 inches) of any player at the combine that year. Farmar is confirmed to have attended Hebrew school and had a Bar Mitzvah, thanks to his Jewish mother. Mazel tov, brother.
Farmar is the only player in history to appear in both a D-League and NBA game in the same day...which I guess is an accomplishment? While Farmar doesn't have the most gaudy career stats - 7.9 points, 3 assists, 2 rebounds per game - he did win two championships with the Lakers.
Farmar may not be a household name, but he is definitely known in households that have a menorah.
3. Ryan Braun, OF, MLB
2007 Rookie of the Year, five-time Silver Slugger, five-time MLB All-Star, 2011 NL MVP and 2012 NL Home Run Champion...and a busted PED user. Not helping his cause is the fact that he hit just .266 and only 19 home runs after coming back (supposedly) clean from his suspension.
On second thought, we don't want Braun in the Jewish athlete club. We're revoking his membership. He is no longer allowed to eat challa bread within 100 feet of a ballpark.
2. Zab Judah, Boxing
Judah converted to Christianity in 2010, but 38 of his 42 career wins came while he still said the Hanukkah prayers. The 37-year-old has held the junior world welterweight and welterweight championship belt at one time or another throughout his career. He's secured 29 wins by knockout and only lost nine times in 51 career professional fights.
Moses would be proud.
1. Ian Kinsler, 2B, MLB
Kinsler is a four-time All-Star and two-time member of the 30 home runs/30 stolen bases club. He played for the Texas Rangers from 2006 to 2013 before being traded to the Detroit Tigers this past year. He is the all-time leading base stealer in Rangers history.
Kinsler is also an active member in the Jewish community. He even revealed that fellow Hebrew Hammer Kevin Youkilis would throw him a "Happy Passover" while both were on the bases. That is easily the most awesome thing I've learned about sports in the last five years.
Kinsler has a career batting average of .273 with 1,333 hits, 173 homeruns, 631 RBIs and 187 stolen bases.
