Funnyman Wayne Brady was once a depressed man.
The "Whose Line is it Anyway" star opened up to "Entertainment Tonight's" Nischelle Turner about his long battle with depression, and how he suffered a scary breakdown on his 42nd birthday last summer.
The Emmy-award winning TV personality told Turner that he would mask his depression behind a smile, but admitted that he wasn't always as happy as people thought he was.
"People are like, 'Wayne Brady's always happy.' NO I'm not because I'm human," he said in the interview. "Having a bad day is one thing, having a bad week is another, having a bad life ... You don't want to move, you can't move in the darkness."
"You're like, 'I am just going to sit right here and I want to wallow in this. As much as it hurts, I am going to sit right here because this is what I deserve. This is what I deserve, so I am going to sit here because I am that horrible of a person.'"
The actor said he struggles with many issues, including low self-esteem and feeling unworthy of happiness.
During the interview, the "Let's Make A Deal" host recalled sitting alone in his bedroom on his 42nd birthday crying and having a "complete breakdown," but later added that it was the same day when he realized he had "to make a change."
Brady also admitted that he was one of many stars who was affected by the passing of comedian Robin Williams in August. At the time, the actor tweeted about Williams' death, "Depression is real."
"[Robin] was someone that brought such love and light to a few generations of people," Brady said of the late actor. "He made everyone feel great. But, at the same time knowing that he had this ... what I make up in my mind, this low sense of self-worth, of belonging, loneliness, of pain that all the money in the world can't cure, all the accolades and awards, and all the love from people all over the world ... all that love could not stop that man from saying, 'I am in so much pain.'"
Brady credits his daughter and ex-wife, Mandie Taketa, for helping him back onto the road to recovery. Despite their divorce in 2007, he maintains a close relationship with his ex-wife, who is also his neighbor.
"She was down with me when nobody in the world was down with me, except my mom," he said. "There was loyalty there, there was respect, there is trust -- she is my baby mama."
For those struggling with depression, the actor said, "Just to admit that you are feeling this way is a huge step. To claim that, to say, 'Why do I feel dark? Why do I feel unhappy? Let me do something about this.'"
