I got nothing.
Normally, I sit down at 9 AM every Wednesday and start this column with some type of anecdotal parallel or pop culture metaphor. I do that because I want readers to have fun when they click here. But I have to be honest; my creativity levels are dangerously low right now. I've been staring at my computer screen for 45 minutes trying to come up with a clever opening, and haven't had a single useable idea. Sorry, folks. You're stuck with an uninteresting, humorless and flat lead in for today's fantasy picks. I'm basically spelling out the epitome of hump day right now.
As always, here are a few players worth starting this week and some to avoid:
Worth It:
QB: Robert Griffin III
RGIII was unspectacular in his return from a dislocated ankle last week. He was 18 of 28 for 251 yards, one touchdown and one interception to go along with 7 rushes for 24 yards. Not exactly a breakout performance, but there are worse stat lines out there (cough, Andy Dalton, cough). The Washington Redskins fan in me says that RGIII is going to regain some of his promising rookie form (the Redskins fan in me also cringes at any sign of optimism or hope). The fantasy analyst in me notes that Washington is playing the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who have given up the ninth most fantasy points to quarterbacks this season. In Tampa's last four games, they have surrendered nine passing touchdowns (granted, five of those came in one game against the Baltimore Ravens, but still). They've allowed four games of 300-plus yards through the air in their last six. Washington is coming off of their bye and desperately need a win to calm the never-ending media circus that surrounds the team.
RB: Mark Ingram
Have you ever been in a terrible relationship in which both of you were miserable, and as soon as you broke up your ex flourished with someone else? That's how it is with me and Mark Ingram. I was the conductor of Ingram's bandwagon when he came out of Alabama. I reached for him in two consecutive drafts, only for him to laughably fail to live up to expectations. Now, in his fourth year, he is finally producing at an elite level, albeit on someone else's roster. Ingram, when healthy, has failed to surpass double digit fantasy points in only one game this season. He has three consecutive 100-plus yard performances, and three rushing touchdowns over the last three weeks. The Saints are playing the Cincinnati Bengals, who have allowed the fourth most fantasy points to running backs. Like a scorned lover, I hate to see him so successful elsewhere. I'm going to go eat a tub of ice cream and watch "The Notebook" on Netflix now. Don't judge me.
WR: Jordy Nelson
You're starting Jordy Nelson in fantasy this week. In other news: humans breathe oxygen, Kanye West is easy to make fun of and everyone likes Chipotle. Just because something is brain-numbingly obvious doesn't mean it isn't true. Nelson has probably been the best fantasy receiver this season outside of Antonio Brown. Only two teams in the league have given up more fantasy points to opposing wide receivers than Green Bay's opponent this week, the Philadelphia Eagles. Easy pickings.
TE: Kyle Rudolph (if he plays)
Rudolph's status is still up in the air, thanks to a groin injury that has forced him out of all but three games this season. Rumors at this point have him starting Sunday. When healthy, Rudolph is a good red zone target. The Minnesota Vikings are playing the Chicago Bears, who are allowing an average of 12.6 points per week to opposing tight ends, the most in the league. Rudolph, the purple uniformed pass catcher, is a good bet to score if he suits up.
Avoid:
QB: Colin Kaepernick
Kaepernick has failed to eclipse 15 fantasy points in five of nine games this season. He's exceeded 20 points just once. Kaepernick is averaging a career low yards per carry, and is on pace for the most interceptions in his career. Admittedly, a lot of that isn't his fault. The 49ers have had dire issues along the offensive line. Point in case:
Live Look-In at Jim Harbaugh and the 49ers offensive line | pic.twitter.com/DSw14Vs40q
— Faux John Madden (@FauxJohnMadden) November 5, 2014
Even with a cushy matchup against the New York Giants' last ranked defense, I don't see Kaep having a monster game. San Fran is just too out of whack right now.
RB: Andre Ellington
Even if you're full after a big a dinner, you're still going to stuff your face with chocolate if it's offered (What? That's just me who does that? Well, then...) Similarly, Ellington has been one of the best running backs in fantasy this season, so you're starting him no matter what. I'm just worried about Drew Stanton's effect on the Arizona playmakers, and the tough matchup against the Detroit Lions. Ellington did not score a single touchdown during Stanton's three starts this season and averaged just 3.8 yards per carry. Plus, Detroit has given up the 11th fewest fantasy points to opposing running backs, thanks to their second-ranked rushing defense. I'm no math wizard, but Stanton + Ndamukong Suh = Bad News for Ellington.
WR: Andre Johnson
The Houston Texans will start Ryan Mallett this week against the Cleveland Browns. Mallett has attempted just four more passes in the NFL than you and I. There are three things fantasy owners hate in this world: timeshares in the backfield, questionable health status heading into a late Sunday game and uncertainty. We have absolutely no idea if Mallett can be a serviceable NFL quarterback or not. We've seen disastrous results in similar situations before. Add in the fact that DeAndre Hopkins has supplanted Johnson (who only has one receiving touchdown this year. One?! The guy is 6' 3", how does he only have ONE touchdown?!?!?!?!?!) as the No. 1 target in Houston, and I'd be wary of relying on him for a big fantasy day.
TE: Mychal Rivera
Okay, so I know this guy has been all the rage since making his NFL debut in Week 7. But he saved himself from an otherwise forgettable performance last week with a garbage-time touchdown, and is facing a San Diego Chargers defense that is allowing just the 3rd fewest fantasy points to opposing tight ends. Considering the Wile E. Coyote-like free fall the Chargers are in right now, I wouldn't assume that this game is going to be a blow out, which limits Rivera's ceiling.
