Eva Mendes has never officially addressed her relationship with boyfriend Ryan Gosling or the rumors about her secret baby...until now.
In an interview and photoshoot with Violet Grey's digital magazine, The Violet Files, the 40-year-old actress opened up about being a first-time mom to the couple's 10-week-old daughter, Esmeralda Amada Gosling.
"I'm completely exhausted. I thought my wild nights were over but these are some of the wildest nights I've ever had," Mendes said.
The actress opted not to hire a nanny, but admitted she is grateful for her strong support system - including "two amazing grandmothers and incredible aunties" - who help her get through the rough patches of parenthood.
Mendes also admitted that she goes online to read other mothers' stories while pulling all-nighters with her newborn.
"I go to BabyCenter.com and read the comment section from other mothers because I find so much solace in that," she said. "Just knowing that I'm not alone out there and that other moms have gone through the same thing can at least get me through the night."
On naming her daughter Esmeralda Amada, the actress described her excitement, and said, "We both love the Esmeralda character from the Victor Hugo novel 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame' and just think it's a beautiful name. Her middle is Amada, which was my grandmother's name. It means 'beloved' in Spanish."
Mendes and Gosling have kept a low profile since welcoming their first child together in September. The actress said she is determined to keep her daughter's life shielded from the public.
"Whether we like it or not, privacy is going to be very difficult for Esmeralda. I think it's unfair, but that's our reality," she explained. "Ryan and I decided early on to give her as much privacy as we could. And my pregnancy was the first opportunity to give her that."
"I find the media's 'bump watch' obsession to be both intrusive and stressful. So I made a decision to eject myself from it completely. I was like, 'Annnnd I'm out.'"
