I'm writing an article about underinflated balls and I'm struggling not to become a 14-year-old again.
Must...resist...urge...to...make...tasteless...poorly...constructed...joke...
Ah!
Think I overcame it.
OK, back to the NFL's latest New England Patriots "Seeking Every Competitive Advantage/Dirty Bunch Of Cheaters" scandal, affectionately dubbed "Deflate-Gate."
It seems that the NFL's investigation into the question of whether or not the Pats illegally doctored the inflation level of the footballs used by their offense in Sunday's AFC Championship game is forging ahead as planned and will, according to NFL Executive Vice President of Football Operations Troy Vincent, per NBC Sports' ProFootballTalk, be concluded in a matter of days.
As the NFL world continues to wonder what the outcome will be, a new revelation has come to light - Brady admitted in a November 2011 interview with Boston sports radio station WEEI that he likes under-inflated footballs.
"But when Gronk scores - it was like his eighth touchdown of the year - he spikes the ball and he deflates the ball. I love that, because I like the deflated ball. But I feel bad for that football, because he puts everything he can into those spikes," Brady said at the time, per ESPN.
OK, OK...not exactly revelatory stuff there, unless you consider tight end Rob Gronkowski spiking the ball so hard that some air comes out of it - Gronk Smash! - revelatory.
The deflated balls of course make it easier to grip and therefore easier to throw and catch.
The Indianapolis Colts first realized there was something amiss when linebacker D'Qwell Jackson intercepted a Brady pass in the first half.
"According to a person familiar with the background of the matter, the Colts first noticed something unusual after an interception by Colts linebacker D'Qwell Jackson in the second quarter. Jackson gave the ball to a member of the Colts equipment staff, who noticed the ball seemed underinflated and then notified coach Chuck Pagano," writes Bob Glauber of Newsday.
For his part, Pagano said after the game that he didn't notice any issues with the football.
The Colts of course, lost in particularly feeble fashion, 45-7, with Indianapolis quarterback Andrew Luck having his worst game at the professional level, managing only 12 completions on 33 attempts for 126 yards and two interceptions.
Patriots and head coach Bill Belichick, now preparing to take on the Seattle Seahawks in the Super Bowl, have said the team plans to cooperate fully with the league's investigation.
Brady, informed of the controversy Monday morning, laughed the issue off.
"I think I've heard it all at this point," Brady told WEEI Monday, according to CBS Connecticut. "It's ridiculous. I don't even respond to stuff like this."
In the end, even if the Patriots are found to have cheated, the resulting punishment may not amount to much.
According to CBS Connecticut, "The league's game operations manual notes: 'If any individual alters the footballs, or if a non-approved ball is used in the game, the person responsible and, if appropriate, the head coach or other club personnel will be subject to discipline, including but not limited to, a fine of $25,000.'"
Of course, it could end up being a much heftier reprimand than a $25,000 fine, but if that's the starting point, it's hard to see the NFL taking away picks or hitting Belichick and the Pats with anything other than a nominal monetary penalty.
