After skipping out on the "Today" show last Friday, celebrity chef Paula Deen returned to talk to Matt Lauer about the controversy surrounding her past use of the N-word. Deen held her composer at the beginning of the interview but eventually burst into tears as she told the host how "heartbroken" she was.
She began by saying that she truly believes every person should be treated equally saying that was how she was raised and how she continues to live her life. Deen told a story about her father would tolerate occasional bad grades or someone coming in past their curfew but where he drew the line was disrespect to other people. She said her father would not allow her, or her siblings, to feel or treat another person like they were better than them.
This whole scandal has taken a toll on Deen who told Lauer that she was "distressed" because suddenly there are people who have never met her who are "experts on who she is." Lauer commented saying that most people are simply giving their opinions on the situation. When Deen was asked flat out if she was a racist, without hesitation she said no. She told him that she used that word 30 years ago and hasn't used it since.
"The day I used that word was a world ago - I had a gun put to my head," she told him referring to the time when she was held at gun point by an African-American man in a bank. She insisted that she hasn't used the word since that one incident. "I know my love for people, and I'm not going to sit here and tell everything I've done for people of color," she said. "I would never hurt anyone on purpose. I'm heartbroken."
She ended the interview in tears urging anyone who has never sinned or said something they regretted to step forward.
"I is what I is and I'm not changing," she said into the camera. "If there's anyone out there that has never said something that they wish they could take back, please pick up that stone and throw it so hard at my head that it kills me. Please. I want to meet you."
On Friday Paula Deen was supposed to appear on the "Today" show to address the controversy but canceled the appearance at the last minute due to exhaustion. Deen and her brother, Bubba Hiers, are currently being sued by a former employee who claims that the work environment with the celebrity cook was "hostile," Today.com reports. The employee said Deen was describing a "plantation-themed" wedding for her brother and referred to black people using the N-word.
In a deposition that was leaked, Deen denied using the world in that instance but said she had used it before describing a time when she was held at gun point by an African-American man. She insists, however, that she hasn't used that word in a very long time adding that her family does not condone prejudice.
