Obviously, if you are on a first date with someone, it is impolite to ask how much he or she makes, no matter how much you just want to blurt it out.
It is important to learn as much about your partner as possible from the get-go to ensure that you two are on the same page in terms of future goals and aware of one another's spending habits.
Talking about finances can be uncomfortable for anyone - no matter how long you've been dating a person.
When people are in love - or in the infatuation stage - their minds are often fogged and centered on emotions rather than logistics or planning. Or, more often than not, their first plan involves getting married and then starting a family without properly discussing investments. Many are concerned about remaining compatible in love and in sex; however being compatible with investments is just as important as all other aspects. Without the necessary resources and the building blocks, a relationship can't possibly stay afloat.
Here are some tips to keep in mind when talking about the green:
Know your partner's limits:
To get a general gauge of your partner's income - for the newly connected couple - suggest some activities or items that you have recently purchased and pay attention to his or her reaction. If he or she cringes at the price tag, you may not see eye to eye with other necessities such as how much you plan to spend at the grocery store each week or who should pay for your dinner dates and how often.
Have a heart-to-heart:
For those who just want to delve into the topic, do so with ease and do not overwhelm one another with numbers. An easier and more productive way would be to have a heart-to-heart in which you both reveal personal goals (long- and short-term), shared goals and your financial priorities to reach each of those dreams. Perhaps your lover wants to travel to France and live there for two years and you plan on going back to school to get your master's in English (who would want to do that?) - these are all valid conversation points.
Discuss debt:
Before things get really serious, you need to be aware of any debt that could potentially affect your own financial stability. If he or she has student loan debt, it is common and not a reason to bolt out the door. However, if he or she has heaping credit card debt that is not being paid off, you may want to consider your options before opening a joint account, making a big purchase together or tying the knot too soon. Lay your cards on the table and be upfront. No one likes to be blindsided or lied to.
Work together:
Always remember to work as a team and make sure responsibilities are delegated fairly in order to avoid the stress and strain that money concerns can bring onto a relationship. If you manage your finances together, both parties will feel secure and aware of funds at all times. If you divvy up the spending, you will both feel as if you are contributing and neither person will feel inferior or dependent on the other.
