Jodi Arias' closed-door testimony was released Thursday after a court overruled her attorneys' attempts to keep the records sealed, ABC News has learned.
At her sentencing retrial in Poenix last month, Arias expressed remorse for the 2008 death of her boyfriend Travis Alexander, whom she was found guilty of killing by stabbing, shooting and slashing his throat after he tried to leave her.
"Because what I did was so horrific I couldn't have- I could never have imagined myself doing that to another human being," Arias said, according to her disclosed testimony obtained by ABC News.
The 34-year-old defendant requested to testify behind closed doors due to death threats. She feared she would not be able to respond to questions in a way "she truly means," according to her testimony. A life sentence in prison or the death penalty were the options laid before the jury.
Arias explained the nature of her relationship with Alexander. The two met at a convention in Las Vegas. It wasn't long before their relationship turned physical, but Arias said she was uncomfortable with how fast things were going.
She gave snippets of encounters she allegedly had with the victim.
"Yeah, he squeezed really hard and then he let go and I fell to my knees, very lightheaded, I almost passed out, but I didn't," Arias said, according to ABC News.
An Arizona Court of Appeals eventually barred Arias from testifying in private. She did not address the jury after that.
Following Arias' 2013 conviction, a jury was unable to decide on a life sentence or the death penalty. The matter was put to a second trial that resulted in a hung jury last week after all jurors decided on the death penalty except for one.
It's now up to a judge to decide Arias' fate. She faces life in prison with our without possible parole in 25 years.
