"Our long national nightmare is over..."
Every living president delivered that iconic phrase from Gerald Ford to kick off David Letterman's final night as the host of the "Late Show" on CBS.
Thunderous applause and "Dave chants" greeted Letterman when he walked out to deliver his last opening monologue. When the audience had finally settled, Letterman quipped, "It's beginning to look like I'm not going to get 'The Tonight Show.'"
Sticking to his regular monologue format, the jokes revolved around Letterman's retirement plans (the new face of Scientology), signs he needed to retire (couldn't read the cue cards) and the realization that if he ever screws up again, he'll have to go on someone else's show to apologize.
Addressing the elephant in the room quickly, the outgoing "Late Show" host wished Stephen Colbert and his staff "nothing but the greatest success" as he takes over the show this fall.
He then moved to his first retrospective montage of his funniest moments with the kids who had sat down with Letterman for simple conversations or to share their latest science experiments.
For his final Top 10 list, Letterman invited some of his most frequent guests to share what they've "always wanted to say to Dave." See the complete list below.
No. 10: Alec Baldwin - Of all the talk shows, yours is the most geographically convenient to my home.
No. 9: Barbara Walters - Did you know that you wear the same cologne as Muammar Gadaffi?
No 8: Steve Martin - Your extensive plastic surgery was a necessity... and a mistake.
No 7: Jerry Seinfeld (wearing a tuxedo) - I have no idea what I'll do when you go off the air. You know, I just thought of something... I'll be fine. ["I think Jerry may have a benefit later," Letterman cracked about his outfit choice.)
No. 6: Jim Carrey - Honestly, Dave, I've always found you to be a bit of an over-actor. (He then went into his signature freak out.)
No. 5: Chris Rock - I'm just glad your show is being given to another white guy. ["I had nothing to do with that," Letterman argued.]
No. 4: Julia Louis-Dreyfus - Thanks for letting me take part in another hugely disappointing series finale. (The camera lands on Jerry whose face reads, "Wait, what?")
No. 3: Peyton Manning (and Dave's favorite of the 10) - You are to comedy what I am to comedy.
No. 2: Tina Fey - Thanks for finally proving men can be funny.
And the No. 1 thing I've Always Wanted to Say to Dave: Bill Murray - Dave, I'll never have the money I owe you.
Throughout the night, clips ran from Letterman's days on his previous shows like his morning program, "The Dave Letterman Show" and "Late Night with David Letterman," which he pioneered on NBC.
He also showed a pre-taped segment on a typical day at the "Late Show" from when he arrives early in the morning to the Ed Sullivan Theater until he walks out in front of the audience that afternoon to tape the show.
Before introducing his favorite music group, the Foo Fighters, Letterman thanked everyone that has ever been a part of the "Late Show" and his career in late night. He spoke about his transition to CBS under the former President of CBS, Howard Stringer, and thanked the current CBS President Les Moonves for his extreme "patience" over the years.
When it came time to thank his wife Regina and son Harry, the 11-year-old seemed like he couldn't wait to get out of there. He finally got excited when his father introduced his best friend Tommy, who was more than eager to give a big smile and wave for the cameras.
He ended the show with a simple "Thank you and good night," as the Foo Fighters started to play his favorite song, "Everlong" over a montage of clips and photos of Letterman's career over the last 33 years.
With Letterman out the door, our national nightmare may just be beginning.
