UFC star Ronda Rousey admitted Tuesday, while appearing on an episode of the "The Ellen Show" which will air later in the day, that in the immediate aftermath of her defeat at the hands - and feet - of Holly Holm at UFC 193, she had several drastic, terrifying thoughts.
"I was literally sitting there and thinking about killing myself and that exact second I'm like, 'I'm nothing, what do I do anymore and no one gives a s--t about me anymore without this,'" Rousey said through tears to host Ellen DeGeneres, per Paul Chavez of the Dail Mail.
Rousey, 29, is already circling her comeback bid, which, according to UFC president Dana White, should come against the winner of the upcoming Miesha Tate-Holm bout, set for March 5, in November, perhaps as part of the UFC's New York City debut.
But on that night in Melbourne last year, shortly after Holm unceremoniously dropped her to the mat and shattered any illusions of her invincibility, Rousey could only think of darkness and sadness. But when she looked up and saw fellow UFC fighter and boyfriend Travis Browne, Rousey's spirits were buoyed.
"To be honest I looked up and I saw my man Travis was standing up there and I looked up at him and I was like, I need to have his babies. I need to stay alive," Rousey said.
Rousey hasn't made excuses for the loss in the months following her shocking defeat, but she did suggest to DeGeneres that she was tired prior to the match because it was her "third title fight in nine months and I don't think anyone has ever attempted that before."
