Breaking up and getting dumped brings out the worst feelings, but to experience this during the Christmas season delivers a bigger, more hurtful blow. Spending the holidays with a broken heart seems cruel. It's supposed to be a time for joy and love, so how could your ex be so inconsiderate?
However, after going through the initial phases of hurt, anger, shock and self-pity, perhaps it's time to shake off the bad vibes and keep your focus off your former partner. With Christmas just days away, you don't need this ugly energy around you so here are a few tips to get rid of those bad feelings, if only to survive the holidays better:
1. Take comfort in the fact that holiday breakups happen a lot.
"Any holiday or situation that promotes an expectation about how someone else is supposed to act towards you and do for you and vice versa is pressure," said psychologist Suzanne Lachmann via Huffington Post. "It can create problems in relationships that would otherwise be solid, or it can help breakup relationships that should break up anyway."
2. Acknowledge that healing takes time, but you can definitely go on "survival mode" early on.
Take 15 minutes daily to talk to yourself and pretend you're giving advice to someone who's broken hearted. What would you say and will you take the advice?
3. Get busy.
Breakups tend to lead to obsessive thinking, per Psychology Today. Thankfully, there's a lot to do during the Christmas rush to help take your mind off things. Call your best friend, your mom or a favorite relative and ask if they need help with errands before Christmas day.
4. Give back.
Speaking of helping out, you might want to also check out local shelters and charities for a chance to do volunteer work. Doing good deeds will help make you feel better about yourself after getting dumped. "We crave meaning around the holidays," said life coach Irina Baranov via Cosmopolitan. If you're up for it, you could donate your ex's stuff to charity, too. Cleaning up his things at your place can be therapeutic, according to She Knows.
5. Indulge and pamper yourself.
Address your misery by rewarding yourself, so go ahead and book a day at the spa or go on a shopping spree. Perhaps invite a friend who could probably need the pampering too. Give yourself a gift. Retail therapy can be soothing and you might just snag that gorgeous dress that's perfect for Christmas dinner.
6. Get away.
You might get a lot of sympathy from relatives when pity is the last thing you want at Christmas. Why not ditch the family dinner and head out of town? Sometimes, escaping can save your sanity. "Traveling is an ideal way to reboot and refresh after a divorce because it gives you a chance to physically and mentally get some distance from your ex, and look at things in a whole new light," said author Karen Schaler via CNN.
7. Find hope in the silver lining.
Obviously, getting dumped during the most wonderful time of the year adds insult to injury, but think of it this way: There's probably a good reason why the breakup had to happen when it happened. It's to make room for new things that will still unravel in the coming year. Things can only get better after a holiday breakup!
