Troubled actor Nicholas Brendon has had a rough past year after four arrests, some time in rehab and a very public and abrupt exit from "The Dr. Phil Show" back in August. Now just a few months later, he is back on the show to open up to Dr. Phil McGraw about what has been going through his head this past year and explain how substance and alcohol abuse fueled his depression and a suicide attempt.
While on the show on Tuesday, the 44-year-old "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" star revealed how he tried to kill himself on Sept. 22. "I cut my wrists with a steak knife," he told McGraw, while crying, to which McGraw asked him if he wanted to die that day.
"I think I wanted to be heard," he explained. "I think I wanted to be helped, you know? Because I think there's a lot of good life to live."
Prior to this revelation, McGraw played a disturbing audio clip of Brendon calling a "Dr. Phil" producer following his last show appearance crying and saying, "Please help me."
"What were you feeling in that moment?" McGraw asked.
"Hopeless, probably, and afraid," he replied. "I think I just have a lot of shame. I just look at my life and I just think how things could have been different...I went to rehab for the first time in '03. What if I had stayed sober? I get into the what ifs...I think I'm also afraid to ask for help."
He explained how he had been mixing alcohol and prescription sleeping pills, which he is no longer taking, for about 10 years to deal with his anxiety and depression, and that led to his downfall. His most recent arrest was in October after an alleged domestic abuse altercation with his girlfriend, which he admits he was "inebriated" at the time of, but insists he did not choke her as they said he did.
He also opened up about his anger, what it's like waking up in jail after blacking out and what led to his out of control behavior, according to The Huffington Post. At the end of the interview, he explains how he checked into a dual diagnosis treatment center to help turn his life around. "Maybe I'm ready to be happy now," he said.
